Suit Buying Tips

Disco Suit

The disco suit was yet another invention (for better or for worse) of the 1970’s. This type of suit came in all types of colors and patterns (once again for better or for worse) ranging anywhere from solid bright orange to windowpane baby blue.

Materials

Materials consisted almost exclusively polyester. Cuts were slim, ensuring that the suit pants were hugging one’s legs as unflattering as possible. Two buttons or more (why not) were typical undone for this suit in an effort to broadcast maximum chest hair signals.

Lapels were large (this time for worse) and in charge and sometimes nearly doubled the usual sized lapels. The lapels were so large that they made the person wearing this suit look like they had small shoulders and sometimes even a small head.

Some might view this as the fashion dark-ages, a regressive creation by humanity so many standard deviations from the mean of traditional beauty that it has to be funny. One man’s trash, in this case, is another man’s stellar Halloween costume.

Disco Suit Accessories

Accessories ranged from platform shoes to roller skates and everything in between. Dress shirts were worn underneath these suits but they had obnoxiously wide collars and were worn with several of the top buttons undone in a failed attempt to maximize sex appeal and furry, unkempt chests.

This is after all a men’s suit website, so we will not take a decisive stance on what defines too much chest hair or whether or not it is appealing, but we will say two things.

One, chest hair is not a valid accessory. Two, if your chest hair is spiraling out of your shirt and almost touching the person with whom you are conversing, put away your suit, button up your shirt, or groom yourself.

Conclusion

Cavalier in every aspect of its design, we’re not going to award this suit any fashion awards. In fact, we’re going to go ahead and give you direct advice regarding this suit: don’t wear it on any day other than Halloween.

We reiterate, please do not wear a this suit to work, out on the town, to a movie, to a play, to a wedding, especially to a funeral, to a Broadway show, or to Sunday brunch.

Unless it’s October 30th or you’re at a disco-suit-themed party, stash this far away in your second closet, in the darkest crevices your home has to offer, leaving it only to be discovered by your children or grandchildren for comedy’s sake.

The disco suit is a fashion faux pas 99 out of 100 times, regardless of how it “once made you feel.” Don’t play the odds.

Facebook Comments

Most Popular

To Top